Search

The Aniekan

– Thoughts Streaming from the Heart of a God-lover –

You Attract Who You Are

“As he thinks in his heart, so is he” [Proverbs 23:7]

Hey guys, how are you? I have missed you all so much! I am sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I sure have been putting up some appetizers on my social media platforms, I trust you’ve been keeping up? Now here’s one great meal about to be served. I promise it’ll be worth your read and of course your very precious time! 😃

This one right here has been sitting in my drafts for quite a while now but thank God for the courage to share. When I realized this truth, I literally said to myself “Aniekan this is going to serve as a turning point in your love life”.

If someone were to ask you, what kind of person you would you like to get married to, I’m sure you’d roll out your list of characteristics, likes and dislikes; While the ladies may say “I want to get married to a rich, successful, God-fearing man … the guys will say “I want a lady who is godly, faithful, who will lead me to God, help me stay consistent …”🙇🏾

These are great desires and wishes you know, but unfortunately, you hardly ever attract your wishes. You attract who you are. Let’s go down deep a bit. I have had quite a dating lifestyle until I got to a point where I admitted that there was certainly an end to just any kind of relationships, especially with:

• People who are insecure in themselves (that they need someone to build their self worth)

• Weak people who just need love(these ones will zap your energy because love will never be enough);

• the ones who lead their lives by their feelings (always confused as emotions are too temporary to build decisions upon)

• Those wanting a godly relationship but cannot bring themselves to cultivate a personal relationship with God

In all these experiences, I knew in my heart of hearts who I wanted; Of course he had to be a strong man, someone I do not have to push to act right, someone who keeps a personal relationship with God, who had his life goals in view and working towards them, not confused or in doubt about who he is, a good leader, respecter of women, basically a man that is all I am and even more, etc. Well, because they were not, I guess that’s why the previous ones didn’t make the cut.

With the above listed qualities, it never did occur to me that I had to be that kind of woman too. You may ask, how so?

I came across someone who possessed most of these qualities. Good for me or so you would think; but we had our fair share of misunderstandings and eventually had to break up (I’d tell you why, just read on 👀). You know how those moments go, we give ourselves the emotional pep talk that ends with “if someone left, it means they never deserved you”. But let’s think about it for a moment, are we really telling ourselves the truth considering the circumstances or are we just padding over our emotions with a sweet lie? That is tory for another day. 🏃‍♀️

Fast forward to a few months after that, I met someone else who was totally into me, someone who appealed a lot to the state of my emotional health at that time. He was a lot like me; Very mushy, concerned, soft, emotional, etc..

I thought it was a good thing ‘cos that was all I ever really needed in a relationship at the time. As I thought about it, I realized that those qualities didn’t check the major boxes on my list. [🙃]

I had decided that my next won’t be just another relationship, but “that which would attain marriage”. The questions on my mind were:

“What do I really want?”

“How have I grown in these aspects so far?”

“I’m I repeating a cycle of same relationship patterns?”

As I answered these questions, It occurred to me that I attracted the same kind of men. The ones I wanted were not attracted to me. Ahh Why?

If I am constantly emotional, judging myself, needing approval, getting into useless friendships just to help my fluctuating self-esteem, I would eventually attract to myself people who will give me quick-fixes to these emotions, because these are the yearnings of my heart. Truth is, all these are really cheezy stuff that one should already have developed and checked for oneself because nobody could give me the self-esteem and balance I do not have.

On the contrary, if I worked hard to build myself, love myself, develop a healthy self-confidence that is free from insecurities, making quality decisions and accomplishing them, having a positive outlook on life, these will give me a healthy self-balance. With these attributes well formed, I will not only have a healthy life, but also radiate positive vibes, filled with love and joy without any sense of neediness.

This, is what balanced and sound people are attracted to. They need to be able to relate with you on other important issues, past love, a fine face and nice body. [Peep this👇🏽]

You see, no one in their right senses wants to get into a relationship/friendship and be drained by a one-sided neediness; you know, having to be the only strong person all the time puts one down easily, and not so many people will carry such a lop-sided weight if they did not already decide to do so from the start. A lot will leave when it becomes unbearable.

Undeniably, this kind of draining attitude on my own part killed my past relationship; the frustration and pressure I mounted on him was real. But thank God for the wisdom that comes when we grow in him (indeed flesh and blood didn’t reveal this 😂). Sadly, we would never admit how sick our insides are until we face a self-confrontation and allow God to do a work in us.

So whatever qualities you know you want in someone else, you should be walking in them or at most working towards them. Your life should reflect them because basically, it is what you present of yourself that you get in return. Asides setting values and standards, you should be well cultivated in them. It all begins with you. Borrowing from pop culture, “real recognize real”.

You might fake to be what you aren’t just to attract a person. Tell you what, no matter how you fake it just to get who you want, you may not be able to keep them because you can only fake what you aren’t for so long; our real demons come out to play when we become comfortable [😈]. Rather than fake it, work on it, become it, show some willingness, at least let your heart reflect it even though you may not immediately attain it.

I hope this made a lot of sense to you as much as it did for me while I pondered on it.

Would love to read your comments, thoughts and reactions as well. Cheers to being, attracting and keeping real people. Amen! ✌🏽

Love Always,

Aniekan

Advertisements

“YOU CANNOT HIDE”

I once lived in an area that was prevalent with an auto repair yard, shanties, a lot of lotto-game kiosks (you will understand if you are familiar with Lagos streets😄), people wandering about with cigarettes and green bottles in hand jeering as you pass by “fine sister how far now…” 

No judgements at all, I mind my business, so I expect everybody else doing same with theirs. Unfortunately, the irony of the world we live in; everybody wants to know what you are in to, especially when they think you are “so different”. Certainly there were prying eyes, and a whole lot more, but I thought as long as I wasn’t looking for anyone’s trouble, I was good.
Anyway, I got robbed at some point – a-midnight, at gun-point, break-in-kind of robbery. They made away with most valuable item we had, thank God for life, else I wouldn’t be here writing this. After the incident, my sister and I stood there in disarray wandering if what just happened was real; confusion, questions.. why us? We didn’t have much anyway, so why strip us off the little? One thing I know best to do when in a difficult or confusing state is to worship, so we did just that… We decided to channel all the anxiety, fear and questions to the one who understood it all – God.
Days, weeks, after the incident, I feared the streets, I dreaded my house and neighborhood… but where else would I go? (😔). We had to be more conservative in our movements, concealing a lot more; not going out if we didn’t need to, for fear of being noticed and probably attacked again. But no matter how much I tried to “hide”, I literally was walking by them everyday and looking them in the eyes, evidences were too good to be true. These guys weren’t far from us, they had known us too well.
I remembered that same night, as we stood there in confusion, my sister had made a comment “I hope they change their ways soon or they’ll be in trouble”. Dang. True. But how? That statement stood out for me. (🤔) How would they change their ways if they were not apprehended with better ways? How can they change their minds if God’s love is not preached to them? If they are not exposed to truth? (Romans 10:14). I thought about the times when I passed by these guys idling around, and I usually felt the urge and compassion to tell one or two of them about God’s love but I just didn’t. I always saw an unsatisfied need in them that only God could fill if only they knew him, but I didn’t bother introducing Jesus, because I was afraid. I considered times when we casually ignore these urges for whatsoever reason, but on the flip side what if we tried? I mean God put us here so we would be able to reach out and spread his love.


Well, this is the exact same reason I couldn’t seem to “hide” even while trying so hard; I became more noticed, known and sought after. 
Have you ever felt this way before in some places you are in? No matter how much you try to stay on the low, it just doesn’t work, you just keep getting noticed. It is for a reason. My pastor once said “the reason for fame is to make Jesus famous” – Pastor Idris Bello Osagie. So how much are you using your popularity or influence for the expansion of the kingdom? 

As light of the world, we are to illuminate the dark around us, exposing hidden things, re-directing the course of the blind, putting God’s glory on display, living generously instead of trying to conserve it.
If this speaks to you in some way in whatever sphere you are in, don’t try to dim your light by playing low. Stop trying to hide and just be light. God put you there so that he can spread his goodness through you for his glory.

Letter to My Future Self

poiseimagery

FutureTT001

Dear Future Self,

It has been a long time coming,

I see you have grown into the woman of your dreams – a loving, Godly woman who is passionate about people and living purposefully.

Like yesterday, I vividly remember the growing pains of your youth;

The struggles of insecurity, the need for perfection and acceptance, the loneliness, the secret sobs and quiet chants to God – I mean there were no friends who could possibly understand???

View original post 662 more words

LETTER TO MY BROKEN HEART

Source: LETTER TO MY BROKEN HEART

“Stay”

 

Time and again
Especially at my lowest
I find myself needing you
Even more desperately
For a miracle, or an aversion
I remember the last time
We had an amazing time
You did me so much good
So it was easy to love up on you
Eventually my excitement wore off
And I began to focus on other things
Now It seemed like you left
Meanwhile, it was me who did
Sigh, 
Problems of a living sacrifice
Always crawling off the alter
But you have been here all along
Waiting on my return
_____
Sometimes we are just too quick to leave the place of our breakthrough. Rather than pack up and leave just after your miracle, stay. Yes, he knows you came around because issues were beyond you, you needed help, a change… And you got that, but don’t leave right after your testimony. God desires to have and keep a continuing and loving relationship with you
_____
… Said the man after his heart;
“All that I’m asking God
Is to stay in his house
All the days of my life
Marveling at his beauty
Awed by his incomparable perfections
There I will be
For when trouble comes
He will hide me
Out of reach of all my enemies “
(Psalm 27:4)
So, Just stay;
Enjoy his company
Build a relationship
Feed from him
Grow in him
When tougher days come
You are stronger and resilient
To stand
“Please stay
Because I really want you to” – God
Aniekan

From My Heart to His

I don’t want to fall too far from you
That I would want meager things
When compared to that;
Which you have in store for me
As it beats in your heart,
Let it so beat in mine
So I learn your will everyday
That I may come in sync with your plans
When the world is fast paced
I resonate in step with you
This and everyday is my vow
That I won’t walk astray on my own
Yours,
Aniekan

Breaking Free

 

Hello Fam, been a while yes?
Apologies. I got a whole lot to share, but putting up post has been a feat. I promise to change my ways and be frequent as much as possible.
Let’s talk about “breaking free”.
Ever had a weakness you really want to get over? You have made up your mind to quit it but time and again you find yourself indulging or not being able to say no when the temptation comes, so you indulge, then comes the feeling bad and self hatred. You want to be better but sometimes your defenses are down. You promise yourself it won’t happen again. You pray about it, asking God for help and pardon. And when it seems like you are making significant progress, it happens again, you are back to the starting point. It is certainly not one of the best feelings.
It happens to everyone. Happens to me. You know your weakness, I know mine.
Personally, I set a few measures for myself and it has helped me to curb this particular weakness and thought to share; Hope you find them helpful.
Decide that you want to be better
Ask God to help you stay on course
Stay away from places/people that would raise interest in things you’re trying to avoid
When you are in a position that requires you to compromise your decisions and godly standards, just know that God is not in it, no matter how good it looks. So it’s ok to give it up. Remember, “God’s blessings brings wealth, without painful toil for it” (Proverbs 10:22 NIV)
Mark your progress and keep at it. Eventually you will be stronger and more resilient.
Paradventure you slip back, dont stay slipped. Get up, forgive yourself and keep moving.
You can keep an accountability partner (if you need to, that helps too)
Viola! You did it
Have you had your own “breaking free measures?” Kindly share in the comments how you did it, you might encourage someone as well. Until another post, thank you for reading, always looking forward to hearing from you. God bless.
Love Always,
Aniekan

QUIT PRAYING

Graced for a Purpose

It’s time to stop praying and start acting. -by

Mark Batterson from Draw Circle
Stop praying and start acting

“Well done, good and faithful servant!” — Matthew 25:23

One of the defining moments in my prayer life happened a decade ago. I was in a small group with a friend who worked for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at Georgetown University. Jeremy was working on a shoestring budget, and their campus ministry needed a computer. He shared the request at the end of our meeting, and I agreed to pray for it, but when I started praying for it, I felt that the Lord wanted me to stop praying. It was like the Holy Spirit said, “Why are you asking Me? You’re the one with the extra computer!” I quit praying in mid-sentence. I told Jeremy we didn’t need to pray about it because I had an extra computer he could have.

View original post 677 more words

“I’m Just Tired Please…”

We have dreams, visions, the big picture of something we want to accomplish. 

For someone like me, I want it to appear right now. The anxiety of the dream brings some kind of eagerness to see it manifest already. Sometimes we get so worked up about our goals and dreams, becoming discouraged when resources are not adding up. Gradually, you may begin to second-guess the dream/idea and think maybe God is not in it.

It is usually easy to get discouraged, easy to give up, easy to get tired and lethargic when something is not working. 

Something God is saying to me, which of course relates to all who have a dream or idea to execute but tiredness wants to make you quit; “Wait on it. I can actually snap my fingers and all the ideas I put in your mind will appear before your eyes – all done! But that’s not my point. I want to grow you in the process of accomplishing that dream, I want you to stay consistent with the little efforts everyday, I want you to gain expert experience with these little tasks, I want to sharpen you up on those skills and polish it good that they become your second nature… just stay on it. One day, all these little efforts will add up and turn into even more than you imagined or dreamed. Then you will not even consider the nights of toil because it will be so worth it”.

Don’t get discouraged. Stay on it. Don’t give in to tiredness. No matter how long it will take, for an idea that God gave you, He will surely bring it through. Just partner with him in the works. God’s Grace bring us all through – Amen.

“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out” – Robert Collier. 

WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: